Last week, Hillary Rodham Clinton became the apparent Democratic nominee for President, the first woman to be entrusted with this mantle in the entire history of our country. As I watched her speak on the last “Super Tuesday” of 2016, with her female cadences, clothes, hair, face, I felt the power of this pivotal moment. I imagined that any woman, young or old, conservative or liberal, would find it hard not to be buoyed by the breaking of this longstanding barrier.

The next day, however, my newsfeed evidenced that many women were not impressed. The back-and-forth continued about jobs, violence, immigration, etc. Few paused to reflect about the latest crack in the glass ceiling.

Does a glass ceiling still exist?

We are the product of our times. Many of today’s young women experience the world as gender-neutral and open to them. And in many ways it is. There are more women attending college than men. Women are nearly half of the labor force and they hold more than half of the professional and technical jobs in the U.S.

Back in the Day

This was not always the case. Not so long ago, certainly in Hillary Clinton’s lifetime, the glass ceiling hung so low, women could barely stand beneath it. Before the 1970s, most women married young and stayed home raising babies. Most didn’t work for pay at all. Those who did were, for the most part, limited to traditionally “women’s” jobs: nurses, teachers, and secretaries.

The Feminist Fight

In the 1960s and 70s, a revolution of sorts took place. Hillary Clinton was part of that revolution. She benefited from it. Like so many women today, she went from college to career. And it was exhilarating. She boasted at one time that she had more important things to do than stay home and make cookies.

But though the ceiling was higher, it was still there. Hillary has bumped her head on it over and over through the years. Many critics. Ever vacillating criticisms. Those female cadences were sometimes too strident, sometimes too weak. Her hair was sometimes too messy, sometimes too coiffed. She was sometimes too abrasive, sometimes too conciliatory.

And women in general? Last year, women only made 79 cents for every dollar men made. In every single occupation measured, men average higher wages than women. Less than 5% of CEOs at Fortune 500 companies are women. Less than half of women who start out practicing law in firms end up as high-level partners. And even those who make it that far only earn, on average, 80% of what men earn.

Celebrating Milestones

We still have a ways to go. Which makes it all the more important – young and old — to take time out, look at, reflect upon, rejoice in the beauty of the glass ceiling cracks.

Share your stories of cracks in the glass ceiling.

I am so grateful to my mother for mothering me and to my children for delighting in my mothering them. Happy Mother’s Day to all my moms!

Graduation season is beginning. A time of sentimental looking back but mostly a time of anticipation of what lies ahead. I gave an 8th grade graduation speech a few years ago. Over the next few weeks, I’ll share excerpts with you here as food for thought to this year’s graduates.

Striving for Success

You, graduates, chose as your graduation theme: Striving for Success. It’s a good theme because it highlights the connection between effort and achievement. And we all know that to achieve your goals, you must work hard.

Reach High

REACH HIGH. That’s the first thing. Don’t settle for what’s easy. Think BIG. Push beyond your comfort zone. Put your own special mark on whatever you choose to do.

Oprah Winfrey recently was invited to give the graduation speech at Harvard University. And she talked about reaching high. She was dealt a terrible hand in early life. Her family was so poor she had to wear dresses made from potato sacks. And she suffered abuse at the hands of grownups around her. But like all of us, she was born with talents.

One of her particular talents is the ability to communicate, to make people feel like she understands them and cares about what they think. This raw talent is a great gift. But the hard part is figuring out how will you use your talent….

When Oprah was 16 years old she was participating in a beauty contest in Nashville Tennessee. As with all beauty contests there was a question and answer portion and she was asked “What would you like to do when you grow up.” She answered “I would like to be a journalist.” But more important, is what came next. She said, “I would like to tell other people’s stories in a way that makes a difference in their lives and the world.”

It was this – telling other people’s stories in a way that makes a difference in their lives and in the world – that has guided Oprah throughout the twists and turns of her career.

She started in radio when she was just 17 and then moved on to TV where she could reach millions of viewers. She was a local news anchor and then became a talk show host and with her unique, warm, personal style she used her show to get people thinking about important things. She raised awareness about important issues – gun control, illegal use of steroids in sports. And she stuck to her vision. When other talk shows became trashy, Oprah refused to join them because her true goal was not just to be a talk show host but to make a difference in people’s lives. She used her show to start a national book club that got people excited about reading. She used her show to raise money for important projects. She reached high with a goal of changing the world. And she used that as her compass. And she still does.

Each of you has talents waiting for you to use. Most of you will not go into your next phase knowing exactly what you want to do with your lives. Your main job in high school is to get good grades so you have the BEST opportunities when that next graduation rolls around. Deciding what your life goal is will probably unfold a little bit at a time. But be aware. Use your time and experiences in school to think about what makes you tick. Try new, and sometimes difficult, things. Don’t be tentative. Give it your all. Reach high.

Share your stories about graduating

Spring has arrived with all of its usual accouterments. The weather is up and down. Two days ago the thermostat reached almost 70 degrees. Yesterday it was snowing. There are buds on some of the trees. The grass is greening up and spring flowers are poking out of the still hard ground. There is fast increasing daylight making every da a little bit longer and more relaxing. And then there are spring illnesses. Which are all that much harder when you’re alone.

The Spring Sickies

I got a call from my daughter early this morning. She had a high fever, terrible sore throat. Her roommates were away for the weekend. She was alone. And feeling terrible with no one there to take care of her.

The Joys of Being Taken Care Of

I’ve been in all the different positions relative to illness. I have strong memories of being sick when I was a kid. Throwing up, aching throat. But also a place being made for me in my parents’ room that became the sick room (probably to keep germs away from my sisters). It was the only time I got to watch unlimited TV. And food served to me on a tray. More recently, I was laid up and waiting for test results. I was physically low and emotionally stressed. My partner took on the household chores, made me meals, rubbed my head. In these situations, I got to let go of responsibility, put my well-being in the hands of another.

The Satisfaction of Caring for Others

When I was a mom of little girls, I stepped into the role of caretaker. I hated my kids being sick but I felt satisfaction in the ways I could make them feel better. Cold clothes to forehead, managing their trips to the doctor, making lots of chicken soup. And spending time with them, being that constant presence that assured them they did not need to worry.

It Sucks to be Sick Alone

I also remember living in my first apartment after law school. I was so excited to have my own place. I fixed cool dinners for my friends. Loved getting up on Saturday mornings, joining other young adults in the weekly shopping ritual. Getting coffee with the paper. A full, satisfying life. Until I got sick. I felt physically awful. But most of all, I felt alone. No one to bring me meals on a tray or do the chores. No one to bring the fever down or rub my head. And, since I have a hypochondriachal nature, I missed just having someone to console me and tell me it would all be OK.

It Takes A Village

I Facetimed with my daughter today. I did my best long distance caretaker: talked her through the steps of caring for herself, assured her she would be OK, gave her a verbal head rub. A friend came over to bring her some OJ.

Most of us have been there at some time or other. We get through it and go back to enjoying the longer days and better weather. But while we’re in it, it sucks. So those of us who have friends or loved ones laid up, remember how good it feels to be taken care of – reach out and take care in return.

Share your stories of coping with the sickies ☹

The Old Good News

Back on November 8, 2015, I wrote about the great things a second language can do for your child’s development. Recap: (1) Better cognitive skills (your kids will be super multi-taskers and have sharper memory of what they see and do) (2) More jobs open to them when they grow up – cha-ching! (3) Easier to develop friendships with peers from other cultures and (4) yes… better vacations in non-English speaking countries.

The New Good News

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Now, more good news. “Two recent studies” show that children who are exposed to multiple languages have superior social skills. Specifically, these children are more likely to be able to pick up on how others see things and to respond to it. This skill would come in quite handy during this 2016 election season. Maybe too late for that but it’s never too late to seed the way for better public discourse, or, for that matter, stronger relationships at all levels.

Note, your child doesn’t need to be bilingual to get benefit. The key is EXPOSURE. This is great news. Even if your child is not fluent in another language, he or she benefits from hanging out with someone who is bilingual.

An old-time philosopher said: “The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.” As we raise the next generation, we have the opportunity to push those limits, to send them far, far, into outer space.

Do you have stories about the power of languages in your life?