I am thick into preparing my family’s “birthday month”. When my kids were little, we referred to it as our own private March Madness. Out of the five of us in our nuclear family, only I am born outside the month of March. The girls are spaced three years apart between each (how’s that for timing?!) – too much of an age difference for joint parties. Our kitchen turned into a bona fide bakery every March. And, of course, there were gifts, party invites, streamers, etc. On top of that, my mother’s birthday is smack in the middle of March.

Why do we celebrate birthdays?

Now everyone is older. It is still birthday month in my life but in a very different way. Which gets me thinking: Why are birthdays meaningful? After all, in some cultures, birthdays are not celebrated at all. And for those of us who do celebrate, what do birthdays mean?

A Kid’s-Eye View

Kids seem to enjoy birthday celebrations the most. Of course, there is the material joy of gifts and cakes. This is also the one day each year for the birthday boy or girl to be the center of attention. Family love. A chance to host friends. And also a pride in notching another year onto the belt, another step in becoming “big.”

A Young-Adult-Eye View

My kids are now all in their 20s. The thing for them seems to be destination birthday parties – flexing their newly found financial independence and giving themselves a mini-vacation from the recently-entered world of work!

A Middle-Age-Eye View

At my age, many people don’t actually like to celebrate their birthdays at all. I remember when I turned 50, I hightailed it out of town to avoid any “surprise” parties. My birthday was a stark reminder that I was “heading into the back nine” as they say.

An Elder’s-Eye View

At my parents’ age, my experience is that those who make it that far enjoy celebrating again. It is a time of reflection on a life well lived, a chance to share memories and celebrate deep connection to family and friends.

Celebrating Life

There is one thing, though, that runs continuously through every birthday. And it sometimes gets lost in the shuffle. That is your actual BIRTH day, the day you came into the world. It is a chance to celebrate life itself, with all its various points along the life cycle. A time to engage in the sheer joy of the birthday person’s presence on earth, his or her unique contribution to humanity.

So, a Happy Birthday to all my March people. And, more generally to all: To Life, L’chaim!

Share your favorite birthday stories.

It’s a quiet Sunday afternoon and I’ve been catching up with my twenty-something daughters about their weekend exploits. This weekend the color green features heavily in the conversations – not the least of which is the dye that has turned our Chicago River a bright, almost fluorescent green. In addition, the beer is flowing freely and shamrocks are everywhere. Yes, they have been celebrating St. Patrick’s Day.

So here are a few interesting tidbits about this holiday.

A Shamrock is NOT a four-leaf clover and is not about “luck”

This is something I used to be really confused about. There is indeed such a thing as a four-leaf clover. It is a relatively rare find. Hence, to find one is considered lucky. Like: Winning the lottery is rare, so winning is considered lucky. But this has nothing to do with St. Patrick’s Day.

A Shamrock IS a three-leaf clover and is about Christianity.

A three leaf clover is not so rare. It grows like a weed because…it is a weed. In Ireland (and other places), there are fields and fields of it. So how does this relate to St. Patrick’s Day?

Well, St. Patrick had an interesting relationship with Ireland. He was born and raised in what would later become England. But when he was sixteen, he was kidnapped by Irish raiders and sold as a slave in Gaelic Ireland. There he toiled as a shepherd for six years. During this time he found God. Later, he escaped and made his way back home to Britain, went on to become a priest, and made the decision to trek back to Ireland to share the Christian message.

This is where the three-leaf clover comes in. St. Patrick found it to be a great prop in his presentations about the Holy Trinity. He would hold up the three-leaf clover for all in the crowds to see; then he would kick the drama up a notch, touching each leaf – one for the Father, one for the Son, one for the Holy Spirit.

St. Patrick died on March 17 (or so it is said). Over time, much folklore grew up around his life and work. And he became the patron saint of Ireland.

So Why the Holiday in the good ol’ US of A?

So why celebrate in the US? In a word: immigration. The Irish were once upon a time – in the mid-1800s — fleeing persecution and famine in their country. They flooded the shores of the United States — 1.5 million strong. And they brought their culture with them. Life here wasn’t easy for them. For a long time people born in the United States reviled the Irish – stereotyped and discriminated against them. But over time, they assimilated into the dominant American culture. And, the American culture has also embraced some Irish traditions. Like St. Patrick’s Day.

To end with an Irish blessing:

May your blessings outnumber
The shamrocks that grow,
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.

OR you may prefer:

Here’s to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Over the decades, I have been an on-again, off-again viewer of Saturday Night Live. But I have set the record over the last two months for tuning in. And I am not alone. Some 10 million people are chuckling right along with me. What, then, does humor actually do for us?

Humor Helps People Cope

When Mary Tyler Moore died last month, many of us were sad at this latest in a seemingly endless string of cultural icons leaving the planet, making it a little less bright for those of us still here on earth. Numerous TV stations reran some of the most endearing clips from Mary’s shows, highlighting her wry smile and sharp wit. One of these clips from the Mary Tyler Moore Show zoomed in on Mary and her pals at a funeral for Chuckles the Clown. Initially Mary chastises her colleagues for making jokes at such a sad time. But as the eulogy gets underway, Mary finds herself giggling up a storm. Humor helps us cope with stressful situations. By laughing, we let ourselves know that this too shall pass and we will survive.

Humor Brings People Together

Back to Saturday Night Live. Part of the reason I make sure to watch it is because I know my friends and family will be watching it too. And after it’s over we’ll laugh together. A shared act — whether joyful or just plain silly — that brings us closer together.

Humor Makes Us Healthier

Remember the scene in Mary Poppins where she takes the children for a visit to Uncle Albert who loves to laugh? Albert laughs so long and so hard, he rises off the floor and floats up to the ceiling. And his laugh is infectious. Soon his guests are floating around with him. There’s biology behind the warm feelings roused by a good laugh—maybe it won’t raise your body off the floor but it does lift your spirits pretty high. When we laugh, our muscles contract. And this muscle movement releases endorphins in the brain that make us feel a giddy lighthearted joy.

Share your stories of lightening the mood with a good laugh!